Which do you choose?

You are new to this kink. You are so excited. Look at all the wonderful Dommes and subs available. You are in heaven. What do you do?

How do you start your first Domme/sub relationship? What should you expect from it? There is no set rulebook for a Domme/sub relationship any more than for any relationships. All are different.

What you can do is come into the search with an open and honest self. Do some soul searching. What are you looking for? What are your "must haves" and "deal breakers"? Think about what the ideal situation would be for you. Do make a list of what you really want in a Domme or sub?

When researching Dommes or subs profiles, are you looking for those that match your desires or just window shopping the pictures? There needs to be common ground for the Domme/sub relationship to grow and bloom. Look for people that share your kinks. If you get really lucky, they share many vanilla interests as well.

Look at previous patterns with relationships within this community. Do you have a particular type and are they a positive or negative? Do not be afraid to ask questions. It might save you time and trouble. Many people put on masks online, make sure to peek behind the facades before committing. It can take time to get to know a Domme or sub. Be honest about what you expect and can give. This includes money and time. Discussing expectations up front is important.

Have fun. Yes, I said it. Have fun. This can mean different things to different people. Find the ones that share your idea of fun. This can be anything from CBT, corner time, sissification, etc.

Learn to handle rejection gracefully. Not every Domme/sub are a match. If someone is not right for you, nicely move along. Why waste your time and energy. Learn from the experience to help you determine what you truly desire.

Remember when you do find a relationship that looks promising, it will take time to nurture it. Keep communication open. Resolve any issues quickly. Relationships are ever evolving, so be open to change. Do not think a collar needs to be immediate. This takes time before it is offered and accepted. Velcro does not last as long as steel.

Know yourself, be honest, and have fun. There are so many wonderful Dommes and submissives to enjoy. Happy hunting. Good luck.