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Old School Etiquette

Updated: May 18, 2021



Back in the day, of old school online BDSM chatroom, there were certain rules of etiquette. These rules helped establish roles and beginning training. Unfortunately, some of these have become quite relaxed in use.

The use of capital and lower case when addressing someone or your own name/pronouns indicated the role of submissive or Dominant. A Domme would never use a lower case "i" to refer to their self, that lower case indicates submission. Nor would their names be lower case.

A submissive does not assume a Dominant's title. Ma’am or Sir is the appropriate titles used for a Dominant. This is used until you ascertain the preferred title.

Not all submissives respond to all nicknames. These are real people and not everyone is a "loser", "sissy", etc... If a Dominant is not in a dynamic with a submissive, then use the generic term of sub or submissive. Pet names indicate a relationship.

For private messaging, a submissive should as permission. This includes friend requests as well. Dominants should check a submissive's ownership status prior to either. If the submissive is owned, it is polite to check with the sub's owner on the protocol in regards to their property.

A few tributes do not mean a submissive is collared. Being owned is a high privilege which is earned. You do not get engaged after a few dates, ownership is as serious of a relationship.

I do miss some of the more formal rules. The etiquette helped establish beginning training and conflict. Perhaps they will make a reemergence.

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